Meditation, Hallucinations and Goodbyes
by PrincessFett
Summary: A woman Carth never thought he'd see again pays him a visit, but their reunion is not what he expected it to be.


Hello all! This is a fluffy oneshot so beware of cheese. Anyway I wrote this story years ago and I decided to rewrite it. Enjoy and R+R

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It was amazing what the stars could do to him, he would lose himself in the depth of them. It was nights like these that made him think of his wife, and all the precious memories he held dear. It was hard to believe it's been nearly three years and he still missed her like it was yesterday. Her curly blond hair and bright green eyes, her cackle of a laugh and smart ass comments. He missed her, especially now, now that his heart was betrayed once again, the pain that was temporally numbed by a young Jedi now returned in full blast.

"Frack, Morgana why did you have to go? My life would be much easier with you here, is there no end to this?" Carth thought aloud, he was tired and battered, and he could not wait for this war to be over, so he could move on with his life. _What do I have to live for? _There was Dustil, but that would take a while, it's been years since he last saw his son and even then their relationship wasn't good, which may explain why he was so angry to see him. There was really nothing fulfilling to do after the war, maybe he would work to get a promotion, but good would that do if there was no war to fight?

"What the hell do I live for?" Carth slammed his fists on the dashboard.

"Well I don't know, Hero. What do you want to live for? Or rather who?" A familiar voice came from behind, a voice he hadn't heard in years.

Carth was afraid to turn around, was his mind playing tricks on him? But he turned around anyway and nearly fell out of his chair.

"Morgana? Is that you?" Carth rubbed his eyes, he was hallucinating. He had to be, there was no way his wife was standing in front of him; his deceased wife. He got out of his chair, and walked over to her, hoping he could touch her and he did. She was really here!

"You're not hallucinating, Carth, I'm really here, but only because a very special person is allowing me to be." Morgan pointed to Revan, she was sitting in the corner of the cockpit, her legs were crossed and she looked as if she was in deep meditation, beads of sweat on her forehead. " She's what's keeping me here, but she can't stay like that forever, so I have to say what I need to say and then I have to go." she said as she led Carth back over to his seat, and kneeled before him.

He looked at Revan and anger boiled in him, "It's all her fault. If she hadn't turned you'd be here and this war would not even exist."

Morgana shook her head, and put a hand on Carth's knee, "You and I both know it's not her fault that I'm dead. She may have trained the man but it was not her." Morgan smiled at him.

"How can you say that so calmly?" He was angry at her now, "I don't understand, are you here to defend Revan and he actions?"

Once again she shook her head, "Of course not, Carth, but that woman sitting over there isn't the woman who started this war, yes they are the same person but she's grown and she sees the error of her ways. And at some point during this mission you fell in love with her." Carth shook his head, ready to deny what she just said but Morgana put her hand over his mouth, "There is no point in denying it Carth. Why deny it?"

Carth stayed silent.

"Carth, I can't stand to watching you waste your life on revenge... it's not going to bring me back. I am _never _coming back... and killing or denying your feelings for her isn't going to make you feel better." She looked her husband in the eye's she pulled her wedding band of her finger and put it in Carth hand, "You said you wanted to live for something after this war was done and over." Morgana looked over at Revan, "She you're reason."

Carth had nothing to say, his jaw was slacked and he was shocked, and as Morgan's body began to fade he started to realize that this was it.

"I love you, Mo." He had to say it one more time.

She smiled at him, oh how he missed that crooked smile, "I know Carth." He form started to flicker. "Let me go." Carth shook his head frantically, as tears began to run down his face, "Please, Carth, please." She begged.

"I-I don't know how!" He truly had no idea how to let go of her.

Morgan's image became translucent as she smiled, "Revan will teach you, Carth." She stood up, and backed away from him and he tried to follow. "Goodbye, Hero."

Carth reached for her, but she was gone. Gone, never in a million years had thought he would see her one more time, but only to tell him to stop loving her and move on? He was confused but a loud thump brought him out of his haze.

Revan, she had collapsed, Carth walked over to the unconscious woman and picked her up, carrying her to her bunk room. Carth laid Revan down and sat on the edge of the bed to watch her sleep. He always found watching someone sleep a little odd but he couldn't help it this time. She was truly amazing, she had given him time with someone he missed dearly, he couldn't hate her, not matter how hard he tried it was just something he could not do. Carth stood up to leave when he heard a sleepy voice come from behind him.

"Did it work?" Revan was propped on one elbow, the other arm rubbing one of her eyes.

Carth smiled and walked back over to her, sitting down again. "Yeah, it worked." She gave him a sad smile, "Thank you, Revan."

She cringed a little, still not accustomed to being called Revan, "You're welcome, Carth." She sat up fully, "I'm glad I got to do something good for you. Maybe you'll hate me a little less now."

Carth frowned, her sad eyes pulled at his heart-strings, "I don't hate you."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Oh no? Could have fooled me." She rolled her eyes, obviously not believing him.

He couldn't help but smile, "I don't hate you. Far from it, beautiful."

Revan's eyes widened, he had called her beautiful, "What changed your mind."

Carth shook his head, "I little birdy told me it was okay to let go, and let myself love again." He took her hands in his own.

"Love?" Her eyes were wide with surprise.

"Yeah, but that's a conversation for another night. Get some rest, I'll see you in the morning" he said as he got up from his seat on the bed and turned to leave. Revan grabbed his arm before he could go.

She looked a little shy, not something Carth was accustomed to seeing, but he waited patiently for her to say what he was hoping she would say.

"Could...could you stay here tonight"

Carth smiled, and kicked off his boots, "Of course, Beautiful"

As they laid in bed together they talked and enjoyed each others company, they were comfortable around each other and Carth was genuinely happy. Revan was first to fall asleep but as Carth's eyes began to slowly drift asleep he saw Morgan again leaning against the door post.

"Goodbye, Hero...Goodbye"


End file.
